have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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