I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
