Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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