it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
