Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
