i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
