The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
