I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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