her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
