All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
