Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
