he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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