I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
