I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
