i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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