she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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