I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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