hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
