Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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