Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
