Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
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