I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
