Just took my morning after pill in the library
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
