i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
