i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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