rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
