I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm eating all of the evidence.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
