Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
