i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
why do cheetos always look like penises
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
