Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
50% drunk capacity currently
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
