I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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