sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize