alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
