Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
