how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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