I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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