he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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