I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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