My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
this hospital has no fireball
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
