When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
how does that bad decision feel?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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