Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
