I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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