I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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