I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
