Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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