come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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