dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Panties = found
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