Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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