Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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