youre lurking in front of me
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
