The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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