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it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
