I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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