The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just threw up on my dentist
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
