i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You've changed since you got that strap on
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
