whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
