I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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