OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
