This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
