Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize