She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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