Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Ketchup is God's man juice
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
