i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Too much gin, very little bucket
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
