oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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